4 things I’d like to change about me

F.Y.I. This post is more for me than for “you”, and I can do that. Why? Because, I wanted to remind me how ridiculous I can be and have it permanently tattooed on the web to remind myself for the next time my o.c.d. kicks into high gear over something trivial/tenuous…and….per my last post/reminder…I’m still in charge here.

Here are some hypothetical and real situations to exemplify the 4 things I’d like most to change about me (today)…

1. Given 1,000 evaluations of me, 999 are pretty decent. One is awful. Which one do I focus on? The awful one, and thus determine that the 999 decent evaluations obviously came from people with no real knowledge of whatever they were evaluating me on and therefore I must be exactly as awful as the one (very mean, poorest excuse for human tissue ever) thought and recorded.

2. I have unrealistically high expectations for myself and others. This may sound like a sequel to #1, but it’s not, really. For example, “Ya, I know he ran the last 17 passes for 3,427 yards, but he just fumbled. He shouldn’t have fumbled. Why did he fumble?” Or “Ya, I know everyone says that cake looks great, but what you don’t realize is it’s 4 millimeters shorter on the left, than it is on the right. It shouldn’t be and I’m thinking about throwing it in the trash and starting over” – see it’s different.

3. Serious talk is hard. I make jokes and get all sarcastic (yes even more than usual) in an effort to ease the tension/awkwardness of situations. I don’t like to upset people and know I’m good at it (the upsetting of peoples). So, I’d sometimes rather not do it. I eventually get around to it (because I would literally explode if I never talked about whatever seriousness is there). But, I should maybe just do it immediately and help people know what’s going on instead of leaving them to wonder what’s rolling around in my head when I’m acting weird (weirder than normal).

4. Man do I ever want to control things. I look for any possible issue that "might" happen and start obsessing over it and looking for solutions or new directions to preempt any potential issues, BEFORE there is an issue, no it's worse than that...before there's ANY evidence that there is even a REMOTE possibility of that issue presenting itself in reality. I wear myself out sometimes. *sigh*

I have a feeling that I’m going to want to append to this list as time moves on…so you might expect to see “4 more things I’d like to change about me” coming soon to a blog near you.

And, before you get all nouthetic on me, because I know some of you are about to, you know who you are (and I appreciate and love that about you)…I know and believe that the author and finisher of my faith has the goods to do the changing…it’s my “learning how to walk all over” that keeps Him patiently waiting for me to lean more on Him and less on me, as he keeps giving me more opportunities to learn and re-program my thoughts and actions to be more like Him.