The gospel according to a Chinese fortune cookie

"You will be the center of attentions soon." (no, "attentions" is not a typo)

Well, I really prefer the perimeter of attentions over the center of attentions. So, I'm glad I don't place my faith and trust in the gospel according to Chinese fortune cookies. BUT, the laugh that gave me today was enough to put me over the edge in consideratino of the pile of nation-wide criticisms I've been amassing for my lacking to provide a clearly bored and punishment requiring audience with blog fodder. Seriously people, I'm not the apostle Paul or C.S. Lewis. There's much better material out there, really.

For instance, that giant paper weight of a dissertation that P.V. was wielding around at service on Sunday. That book, along with all his (its a he b/c the author is a he) closest friends (they make for a pretty nice armload) is what keeps me away from blogs and most all things internetian these days. But, I thought I'd try to throw the pleading masses a literary bone this evening, whilst I try to recover enough from my last essay on the last chapter of that paper weight (which is very informative by the way) to write the next one and start on the 150 pages of the other book that I'm supposed to have done by tomorrow.

So you see, my dear adoring public, regular blog posting is highly unlikely in the near and far future, assuming I don't get kicked out of our fine seminary any time soon. I love it by the way, as I predictively answer your next ponderance. I'm learning so much already from the interactions with my classmates and the TONS OF READING, did I mention TONS OF READING! It's good for me, I'm so thankful to be learning stuff that matters, eternal stuff, stuff that's not going to burn up on re-entry, you know?

So, for those millions (a bit of an exageration) of people that have called, emailed and otherwise harrassed, here's todays (that's right TODAY, it was exceptional, to say the least) list of things that only happen to "r.t." (that's me.)

1. Nearly flipped the Purdue Car in order that I not kill a box turtle.
2. Nearly rear-ended a dumptruck whilst watching a red hat lady (in full uniform) tool down the highway on a tiny scooter (that's right a highway) with a giant stuffed Zebra tied on behind her.
3. Laughed lovingly as my roommate added one of my coffee mugs to the not so short list of material goods that have gone MIA or KIA over the last year and a half.
4. Attempted to clean myself up after I spit egg drop soup all over myself while entertaining a state reviewer in northern indiana today. She swears I didn't spit on her but I'm pretty sure I did. Praise lifted high for tide pens, that's all I'm sayin.
5. Found myself in the middle of an arguement btw quick service food employees. I was asked to "break the tie," did I think Kenny Chesney would rather "git wid" the 35 year old manager of the Arby's or the 20 year old drive up girl. I promptly replied that since I was officially only looking to "git wid" Jesus these days I probably couldn't give a definitive answer.

Really, all I wanted was a Jamoca shake, can't I just have a normal person make me a jamoca shake? They laughed, I left with shake in hand and told them to enjoy the concert.

Until next time...