*Warning: The following post will undoubtedly wreak havoc on sarcasm meters everywhere. It is recommended you check with your physician before continuing. If you suffer from a lack of a sense of humor, the inability to know when people are kidding, or esophageal reflux disease, the following post may create harmful side effects such as uncontrollable crying, and the crushing of your dreams.*
Last night I worked at the church to serve the supper prior to the school play. We all had fun, but it seems several had come together and declared pick on Melissa night. I have no qualms with this mind you, keeps the quick thinking engaged; “verbal volleyball” is after all, my favorite sport (I need to remember that when Lee asks us “what our favorite sport is” for the 19th time, as the class get to know you question).
Afterwards however, I was helping Wendy update the picture boards in the picture hallway. Let me just say that this is a TEDIOUS TASK. And I'm thankful for her servant heart to do it. (It does have it’s perks for anyone seeking to keep current on pictures containing only one human however, if this is an interest of yours please see Wendy, to sign up for your tour of duty).
Seriously, the stupid things have to be in alphabetical order so you may have to move like 756 pictures to get the Shpirakovicks in their rightful location before the Shuenmakenanders. Plus, you have to use this form thingy so they're all straight and look nice (which is good, b/c you wouldn't want them looking like a 5th grader strung out on high fructose corn syrup product derivatives did it). But, when mean people come along and think it funny to (more than once) use their creative license to make modifications in said boards, after you’ve effectively removed the first few millimeters of flesh from your fingertips pulling off and replacing these pictures, you’d like to do them bodily harm as they walk away laughing that high pitch rather loudish laugh that we’ve all heard rumbling through the halls of our beloved Faith Baptist Church.
So, this is my proposal: a cage match.
The Big Guy vs. The Hand of Godian in the first ever sanctioned ABF World Wrestling Federation Championship Match. A fight to the death, no holds barred. Both will receive all due pain and suffering and the rest of us just get to watch.
I think this is the only logical solution to our problems with these two. They need an energy outlet, and COME ON, y’all know they’re well matched for it. Who else do you know that's 7 feet tall,huh? That's what I thought.
I think the community center is opening the end of next month, how much should we charge for tickets?
I'll have the odds posted later today.
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8 comments:
Have you ever noticed someone that needed to lighten up? I mean they take life to seriously. You say, "hey nice shirt" and they about rip your head off. Sure you may have made fun them for ages. But you just wanted to be nice.
Here is the scoop. I saw the hard work of many rearranging the pictures. A couple of them were "off" so I just made them look better. You would think that I would be greeted with cake and praises. But, no. Ungratefulness.
While some are serving till 1 am and they just happen to see a small adjustment being needed. M and W are ready for war.
And on the note of war. You don't want none of this. I am way out of your league concerning pranks. All you and W can do is fork a lawn. I am much more creative. ;-)
First lets leave, W, wendles, wendy, crazy-woman-in-pink or whatever you want to call me - out of this. This was not my idea nor was I involved (but I might want to watch - hey MK how much were those tickets?).
Second, "big guy", lying is bad enough - verbally. When you put put in writing it's sooooo much worse.
Thirdly, dude, are you seriously measuring your creativity up to mine? The man who sits in an office, behind a desk, filling out forms all day vs. a woman with the word 'designer' in her title?
Just checking- ;)
I sense some tension.
This is a test of the emergency broadcasting systems
Second test :)
B.G. - if you have any desire to see another piece of cake in your lifetime, I'd advise against the pranking.
W - I know I'm altered lately but I'm pretty sure you were there and involved. Dude I was trying to stick up for your hard work! But thanks for confirming the "spin factor" of the notorious B.G. (that should be a rapper name or something...)
Well, I'm sorry, I just have to "weigh" in on this one. I have seen said "BG" in a very heated wrestling match on too many occasions to count. All I can say, is that if you are expecting some kind of wrestling prowess, you may be sorely disappointed. All matches I have seen end up with Lee on his back kicking and screaming like a little school girl. He usually becomes paralyzed with the aforementioned loudish laughter within the first few moments. I can't speak for GusGus, but I'm guessing that two hillariously laughing "big guys" is not what you had in mind. Just FYI!!! But it IS quite entertaining.
I love it! You guys are so hilarious! I would love to see who is most creative in the pranking scheme of things!
Although the big guy isnt to quiet when he is trying to do some pranking (hence the almost run in with the law!). But he probably does have more practice!
Although...crazy pink lady (who gave you that name! lol)... does bring up a good point with the designer in her title, but talk is one thing. We need to see some evidence of your inventive mind!
MK: You could get at least $10 per head! This could get interesting!
B.G. - Are you going to let Betty 'rie talk about you like that! "...a little school girl!" lol
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