What now?

Let’s see…how do you compose a post that accurately portrays the events of the past week? I don’t know that I can, but I need to try. Here goes…

In a phrase, I believe “My God is sufficient” would do, but in case you’re one of those people that need things “over-explained,” here’s more…

I had the opportunity to spend this freakishly white week of February in Track One Biblical Counseling at a church that I’m blessed to be a part of (Faith Baptist, Lafayette), with Pastors that I could never appreciate enough. I spent most of each 10 hour day going through what seemed like cases of Kleenex, and then just giving up and wiping tears on my pant legs. There was a lot of "salt" landing on old wounds that I see now aren’t maybe as healed as I’d like to think they are and then of course there’s the gapping ones that I didn’t even know were there. (that was a glorious day, thanks a lot P. Dutton, if I hadn’t just learned the definition of Nouthetic Counseling I’d say I had expereienced exponential nervous breakdowns that day, but well ya…not so much)

I went to the conference with this goal in mind: I wanted to be better equipped to answer life’s questions biblically, in order to help someone see our Lord the way He’s been graciously shared with me. I came away from the conference feeling as though I’d just spent a week being counseled, loving every tearful, painful and truth filled minute and hating that I had to wait another 365 days to come back for the next round!

There were several specific things I learned about /saw in myself at the conference that I’m for thankful. Well let’s be honest, I’d rather not have learned it really, but if I’m going to have theses millstones around my neck I may as well see them so I can do something about it…don’t act like you don’t know what I’m saying, you’ve got um too and if you don’t think you do, I think you can pre-register for next years conference at any time.

Here’s the short list:
1. I’m about as prideful as they come – I don’t like to admit that I might not be able to take care of myself, EVER. I hate it when I need help and I’d sooner kill myself trying than ask.
2. I don’t see myself as God does – forgiven, useful, worthwhile (can I just say it was hard just typing that)
3. I let my emotions trump what I know to be Truth way too often and react rather than act.

Now, I said that’s the “short list”, so you understand there’s plenty of “sub-categories” I could include within “the top 3,” however if I tried to give you such infinite data using this form of communication, I might run the risk of fatally corrupting the inner workings of the world wide web. Everyone would hate me and sin #2 would kick into over-drive. So I think we’ll just play it safe and stop here.

So what now? (note: thanks to the person who asked me this question, I hope you remember who you are)

The longer I live the more accountability I find I need. The stronger I think I am, the weaker I prove myself to be. I need help…

I need help remembering that: My Lord and His Word (not me, myself and I) are sufficient for ALL things, that He’ll never leave me nor forsake me, that He loves me despite me, that He has forgiven me and that He CHOSE me.

I’m a work in progress, “a good counselor must first be a good counselee,” or at least that's what they tell me. So, I’m asking for some help here, and thanking those of you who have cared enough to help when I didn’t ask for, want or receive it. I'll leave you with this, from a fellow "pride-fighter":

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10