Day 35

It's been 5 weeks now, since my life was changed forever.

No, I didn't receive an organ transplant, get married, have a child, win a million dollars, or meet a transfigured Apostle Paul. Rather, I let a Wetzel move into my home. I figured at day 35 it was time for an update and couldn't resist telling the week's epic saga on "The Days of Our Red Couch."

*Edit* I need to provide a little background first - G lost her cell phone last weekend so she's operating without one right now...this will put the story in a bit of perspective. However, knowing my Wetzel as I do, I don't think that it would've impacted the way the story played out, she's just whinning about it right now so I had to make this disclosure.*

So, it goes a little something like this...

I return home Tuesday evening about 10:30 post Bible Study. I walk into the house talking on the cell. As soon as I enter I hear Jeannie proclaim in her loud-ish inside voice "OH THANK GOODNESS YOUR HOME." I was having a rather serious conversation and thus shushed her and retreated to my bedroom where I continued. Several minutes later I hear a shallow tap at the door and Jeannie saying "uh, Melissa, uh are you uh still on the phone? Cause uh, I think we might uh, need to call the police." She said this is a very nonchalant tone - very uncharacteristic of a Wetzel (well at least the Wetzel I've come to know and love). So, I was like whahuh, police what? So, I quickly tell my dear friend Abbi that while I hate to cease our discussion I gotta check on "something" that may require my contacting law enforcement!?!?

So I walk into the living room where Jeannie is seated on the couch and inquire: "Now why again might I need to contact the L.P.D.?" Her reply: "Well the neighbor across the road has been banging on his door and window and running around his house for like an hour. And I'm afraid he's going to break into my window or something." It is at this juncture that I also realize that she'd been talking to Wendy on IM about the situation while I was away and that is why Wendy had called me, to find out where I was and when I'd be home to protect my Wetzel (which I ignored due to the call with Ab, sorry again Wendles).

So anyway, at this revelation of information, I was trying with all I had, to fight the urge to explode in laughter. I must admit I felt a slight smile appear on my face and tried to squash it as best I could. She's so cute, my Wetzel. I just can't help but love her.

So, when I checked the status of my "hood," (Jeannie is convinced we live in the hood, I'd love to show her where I've lived before, she'd think we lived in the O.C. after that!) the "crazy potentially window entering neighbor" was not in sight or sound. I reported back to my Wetzel at this point, that I would not call the 5-0 on an alleged "crazy potential window entering neighbor." If, it started up again, I'd be happy to call, if it would ease her anxiety. *End Act I*

*Begin Act II* Advance about 15 minutes - re-enter "crazy potential window entering neighbor"...I'm lying in my bed with my door closed and I hear in a loud-ish whisper tone (I guess she didn't want the neighbor to hear her tattling on him) "Melissa, he's back and he's banging on the door again." So, I removed myself from my state of relaxation and peered out the window - where I was immediately reprimanded because the light was on and "he could see me." So she extinguished the light and I could now "safely" play the role of peering nosy neighbor.

I knew I was going no where with arguments like - well he's probably intoxicated or having a spat with the little woman, and besides he's in pajamas and has no shoes on - so he's not going far in the snow - his feet would freeze off trying to break into your window...so I conceded to call our illustrious civil servants in blue. Overly excited, my Wetzel raced to the phone book because "you can't just call 911 it's not a real emergency" - ok need I say more, didn't think so...

She gives me the number all while debating with me if this is going to be anonymous, because "what if he finds out it was us that called" - ok do you want me to call or not...seriously, nothing is simple with a Wetzel. So, I reach Officer Burnett at the L.P.D. and explain the situation, he says he'll send someone out to "check it out." So, my Wetzel is feeling better now, my life is good, I return to bed. *End Act II*

*Begin Act III* Advance 15 more minutes..."Melissa, they're over there, the police are over there, hurry come look." I once again remove myself from my bed and enter my living room to see my Wetzel hunkered over the red chair in front of the window in the dark, lifting a single blind to peer into the night. She says to me "I think I heard him tell them it was you that called; I think they gave him our address." Jeannie, it'll be fine - the police are here whatever is going on will be handled and I don't expect "crazy potential window entering neighbor" to seek retribution, while I doubt the dude really told him it was me. *End Act III*

So, I left my Wetzel at the window engaged in "hood observation." It was a night I'll never forget. And, just in case you're wondering, my Wetzel's window as well as all other windows, are still intact and no retribution has been executed as of 1 pm today. And so ends another day here on "The Days of our Red Couch." I think it's safe to say you can expect a sequel.