Corn Starch and Water

We have Bible study tomorrow night, so this morning I'm working on something to take along to satisfy your sweet tooth. I was thinking with the weather feelin' all springy-like, that I was going to have to go down a culinary road that always gives me a touch of anxiety. The road’s name, of course, is lemon. While I could travel the lemon trail any day of the week, I’ve been told that “most” people aren’t as excited about it . “You either love it or you hate,” they say. And, I don’t hate anything more than taking some food product to something and watching as everyone passes over it and heads to the next item down the line. So, it’s a little risky, but I decided to chance it.

I decided on this “Lemon Cream Dessert” – which is a TOTAL hassle with about a thousand steps via a thousand processes. This all resulting in something, that if someone actually does enjoy and asks what it is, I have to reply with that horribly lame and generic name, why do people do that – if I ever publish any recipes, you better bet they’re gonna have more fun names than “Lemon Cream Dessert,” something like "Dessert ala Crème de Lemon"…ok so I’m not creative either, just keep quiet and enjoy the fact that I can cook and you’re reaping the benefits.

Believe it or not the point of this post is not to carry on about my culinary angst, but rather that during the process of creating the lemon curd for this blasted thing, something dawned on me – and on the rare occasion that my brain works as God intended it to – I need to tell someone. Lucky you!

The first step to making lemon curd is to heat sugar, cornstarch and water. I’m standing at my stove stirring and stirring and stirring and all the sudden I’m thinking of Gknee’s corn starch and water story. If, you’ve been deprived of hearing this story, I’ll give you the short version (I hope I get it right). Jeannie’s attending school and she happens upon a young man that asks her if she knows what corn starch and water make, she (thank goodness) does not give him the reply he’s looking for. He goes on to explain, that corn starch and water make gravy and that his future wife, will of course know the answer to this question.

First, nice way to find God’s will for your mate buddy, second, you’re a moron. Corn starch and water make a thickening agent – as in my lemon curd or perhaps gravy, but this further adds to his unintelligence because anyone who knows anything about where gravy was born knows that real gravy people use flour, only Yankees use corn starch.

Now, back to my point, this poor nut job is seeking the answer to a question HE doesn’t even know the answer to. So, in order for his brilliant plan to work, he’s going to have to find another person that’s as equally uninformed.

At this point, in my winding trail of thoughts I realize I’ve nearly ruined my thickening agent (note to you who don’t understand, this is why I can’t multitask, whatever I’m focusing on tends to block out ANYTHING else that’s happening around me, standing in front of a stove while stirring or not).

So, the perplexing thought that came to mind via my corn starch and water moment? How often are we looking for an answer we’ve falsely assumed to be the correct one?

And…how many people out there have had the misfortune of taking a foods class, taught by Bozo the Clown. Seriously, this guy deserves a refund AND damages for pain and suffering, this is NOT going to end pretty.